


Zosimos

by RoyEdIsMyAesthetic



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Sex, Boys Kissing, Cats, Drinking, Gay Sex, Ishbal | Ishval, M/M, Magic-Users, Magician! Ed, Memories, Memory Loss, Neck Kissing, One Night Stands, Rain, Sleeping Together, Sleeping with Strangers, Young Roy Mustang, royed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 07:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic/pseuds/RoyEdIsMyAesthetic
Summary: Finding himself no longer able to deal with the guilt that he holds, Roy Mustang visits an alchemy and magic emporium in hope of buying himself a clear conscience.





	1. Night

**_Demons lurk about this earth, finding pleasure in the ignorance of mankind. Alchemy is the way by which man can learn how to manipulate the world around him, pushing back this shadow of ignorance and becoming liberated from evil itself._ **

**_This was the belief of the alchemist Zosimos of Panopolis._ **

A loud hush as a car sped down the abandoned Central City street called the pouring rain to silence itself while Roy Mustang stood as still as a statue beneath the shelter of a large black umbrella.

He had never heard of Zosimos before. It was simply a name printed onto the front of a slightly torn business card that he held in one gloved hand. Despite this fact, he found both the sound of the name dripping off of his tongue, and the shapes his lips made as he said the word, pleasant.

_ Zosimos. _

Zany. Quirky. Whimsical. Idiosyncratic.

Odd like the storefront before him with its glowing yellow light leaking through the spaces between the wooden blinds, the cast iron sign over the door suggesting a sort of strange permanence, though the fact that it was lopsided and held up by a frayed rope and the silver chain of a discarded State Alchemist’s watch made one think otherwise.

A soft tintinnabulation was heard as Roy opened the door to Zosimos Alchemy and Magic Emporium, the sound of the chimes above the door fracturing the silence of the air. He set his collapsed umbrella upon the doormat and took a hesitant step forward, unsure of where to look or go.

The warm light seen from outdoors came from a series of lamps scattered about the large room. Desk lamps, floor lamps, piano lamps, torchieres, oil lamps, all balanced upon stacks of books piled upon the floor, tucked between the books on the shelves that lined the walls, leaning crookedly against the shelves themselves, lining glass cases filled with gizmos and gadgets, magic wands, beakers, curious specimens floating in mason jars filled to the brim with glycerin and isopropyl alcohol, crystal balls, and sachets of herbs and spices. More lights either hung from, or were balanced on top of, the dark wooden rafters that crisscrossed the ceiling of the space.

Dust tickled Roy’s nose, causing him to almost sneeze as a very fat calico cat rubbed against his left ankle, making him instead jump with surprise. As the cat purred with pleasure, Roy relaxed, and with a small smile dancing upon his lips, he bent down and scooped up the rather heavy animal. Holding the warm feline to his chest, he looked to and fro for signs of human life.

“Oi! Still stormin’ out?!” a young man called loudly from behind the lamps, glass cases, and stacks of books, “My younger brother collects cats as a hobby, and they’re all holed up around here where I don’t want ‘em. There should be twelve in all...”

“Where are you?” Roy called with eyes narrowed, the cat squirming slightly in his arms.

“Store owner!” the young man chirped in a sing-song voice. The halfhearted wave of a hand was seen peeking over a mountain of books stacked atop a cluster of rusted folding chairs. “Over here!”

Setting the cat down, Roy made his way around the mountain, stopping in an inlet made up of walls of books on two sides, and a dusty display case to the back, showing off a collection of oils, potions, statues, stones, incense, and ancient globes of all different sizes.

But more curiously was the young man who lay stretched out on a threadbare velvet loveseat in the middle of it all with his pointed nose buried in a book. He was wearing brown slacks, a white button down shirt beneath a heavy deep red cloak, and no shoes on his feet.

He had a youthful and almost feminine face, and looked to be in his late teens. Maybe early twenties. About the same age Roy was, but no older than that. He wore his glossy golden hair down, letting it cascade over his shoulders while two clip-on earrings dangled from his earlobes- two raindrops frozen in time itself.

It took the young store owner a second to tear his eyes away from the book in his hands. He quickly glanced over at Roy, turned back to his book, and then with mouth falling ever so slightly open, he looked back at Roy once more. The young man quickly shut his mouth, and a crooked smirk touched his lips, the look within his golden eyes playful, and almost mischievous.

“Well I know you’re not out to buy a love potion, because with looks like those… well, I’m already sold!”

“Do you use that on all of your customers?” Roy questioned with an amused smile.

“Nope! Only the available ones with handsome faces!” store owner said cheerily, sitting himself upright and setting his book down beside him. A moment later, his smile fell, and he looked curiously at Roy with eyes narrowed. “Say… have we met before?”

“Hm?” Roy hummed with confusion.

“Got cotton in your ears? I asked if we’ve met before.”

“No, I don’t believe so.”

“You just have a face then.”

“And what sort of face would that be?” Roy asked with a lift of an eyebrow.

With unnervingly golden eyes locked with onyx, Edward slowly leaned forward, resting his mismatched forearms on his knees, his expression going dark. A pink tongue peeked out ever so slightly and wet chapped lips before he spoke.

“ _ A dog _ …” he breathed quietly with gaze searching, “Nearly  _ drowned  _ in a river…  _ soaked _ to the bone… and  _ wandering _ about the cold streets in the open air… trying to put on a good face. Because it’s pretending that his owner didn’t throw him in the river in the first place. Forgive me... but you look a bit like crap.”

With that curious observation, the store owner then slowly sat up, leaning back against the couch and paying no mind to Roy’s bewildered expression.

“I think I can pick out that face anywhere,” he continued. “You know that thing where people have past lives, and they forget about them? And then they meet up again, and all of a sudden, all of the memories of this impossible past come flooding back?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I think that’s complete and utter bullshit. Can I help you with anything today, Major Roy Mustang? Or did you come to my shop on a rainy evening just to browse and disturb the peace?”

“I didn’t tell you my name.”

“My name is Edward Elric. And you didn’t need to. You’re in uniform, and I know exactly who you are- the Flame Alchemist just back from the warfront. Now what can I get for you...  _ Hero of Ishval? _ ”

The soldier’s body visibly stiffened upon hearing his own name, but he quickly shoved his discomfort down and answered Edward’s question.

“I don’t want to ‘get’ anything. I want to lose something.”

“Care to explain?”

Roy slowly blinked his eyes and lowered his head, his face suddenly portraying a certain despondency. He lifted his head, his face the same, but eyes swimming with a subtle, but hopeful spark.

“ _ Memories _ ,” Roy said softly.

Edward blinked with realization, his face calming and growing sad as he slowly leaned farther back into the cushions of the loveseat. Roy watched as he lifted his one automail hand, inspecting fingernails that weren’t actually there before absentmindedly flexing his fingers, the metal gleaming in the light.

“Memories are tricky things,” Ed said quietly, eyes flicking back up to Roy’s face. “Having heard of you, I think I know which ones you want to erase. You’re a killer. I can see it on your face.”

“But you’ll do it? You’ll take away the memories from since I went to Ishval?”

“I can concoct an elixir that’ll do the trick, but it might take a few hours,” Ed stated, crossing one leg over the other and draping an arm over the back of the seat. “You see, dealing with memories can be pretty damn difficult- you might lose too many. Might lose too little. But I’m very good at my job, and I’ll give it my all. You’ve gotta understand that the odds don’t sound good… and that’s because they  _ aren’t good _ , at least, not for anyone but those who’ve got nothing to lose.”

“How much?” Roy asked quickly.

Gently biting his lower lip, Edward narrowed his eyes and then tilted his head to the side, sending his hair falling over his left shoulder.

“Is there a Mrs. Roy Mustang... Mr. Roy Mustang?” Ed asked hesitantly.

“No. You know that there isn’t.”

“But do you want there to be?”

“No. I don’t want there to be,” Roy replied calmly.

“You see, Roy, my younger brother… he’s going through some…  _ difficulties _ . He’s in Xing, looking for a special stone that can help put an end to these difficulties. My price is that you keep your wallet in your pocket, and you stay for a drink or two. I don’t care for dogs, but… I like you. For some odd reason,” he added with an awkward glance to the side. “And from that…  _ look  _ you’ve been giving me- the way you’re staring at my lips, hanging on my every word… I think you might like me too, so why not?”

An amused smirk spread across Roy Mustang’s face as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his midnight black coat.

“Do you try to seduce your customers often?”

It may have been a trick of the light, but the store owner’s rosy cheeks turned a shade redder as he turned his head away with something teetering between a frown and a smile.

“Oh shut up...”

“I don’t mind it,” Roy clarified, standing a bit taller. “I accept your proposal, Edward Elric.”

At the back of the cluttered, brightly lit shop, tucked into the corner where all of the botanical alchemy books alphabetized by the second letter of the author’s last name were kept, was a spiraling iron staircase that led up to the second floor apartment. Roy found himself led down a dark and narrow hall where shadows quietly slept, undisturbed by the sound of raindrops drumming gently against the wooden roof above and the occasional plunk of water falling from the ceiling and into the plastic bucket placed in the corner.

From there, he and Ed entered a bedroom and study- a spacious room with a flickering fire in the corner fireplace casting a dim orange-yellow glow over the unmade king-sized bed which stood below a curtained window, and over the large wooden table pushed up against the wall, covered with crinkled papers, beakers, and scientific instruments that Roy didn’t recognize.

Ed went over to the dresser to the table’s right and pulled open the bottom drawer. Roy squinted, and tried to look over his shoulder before Ed turned around with a bottle of wine, two glasses in hand, and a pleased grin spread across his face.

“Shall we?”

Roy had two glasses while Ed had half a glass, keeping his senses sharp so he could skim through books, jot down notes, go downstairs, gather things, come back up, and boil them down in a desktop Bunsen burner, all of which was done with a determined… and sort of attractively nerdy... ardor.

Roy had to admit, there are few things sexier in this world than seeing a master alchemist at work.

Roy watched from his chair at the table as Ed reentered the room with a tiny leather satchel in hand. Coming up to the chair where Roy was sitting, Ed gave the man a fleeting peck on the cheek and then casually plopped himself down on Roy’s knee, which he had claimed as his perch for the night.

“Thirteen,” Roy said, watching Ed from behind as he emptied the contents of the satchel into a flask of blue liquid. “You’ve kissed me thirteen times so far tonight. You should do it at least once more before the night is over, because I’m not ending it on an unlucky number such as that.”

A silence fell upon their shoulders, the uncomfortable space it created  filled with the quiet roll of faraway thunder and the falling of water from the leak in the hall.

Edward picked up a fountain pen, prepared to write something into a small notebook, but he froze as the pads of Roy’s fingers slowly ghosted up and over the slope of his jaw before curiously tracing the outline of his left ear, disturbing the tiny teardrop earring, its glass surface warmed by Ed’s heated skin.

“ _ You’ve gone quiet _ ...” Roy whispered.

Edward set his pen down and let his eyes fall closed as he relished Roy’s touch, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin behind his ear.

“ _ I’m concentrating _ ...” the blonde hummed.

Ed kept his eyes closed and allowed Roy to guide his chin back, leaning and tilting his head slightly so lips could press against lips, a kiss so innocent and so chaste, and over in seconds, which seems like so little time, but it so much more than one can possibly believe.

A hot breath quietly escaped from between Ed’s lips as he drew away, looking over his shoulder at Roy with eyelids heavy.

“You should try it sometime…  _ concentrating.. _ . This is your life on the line, not mine.”

“You can handle it though,” Roy replied, slowly combing his fingers back through Ed’s hair. “I get the feeling you’ve been through some rough times yourself.”

A solemn expression washed over Ed’s face as he shifted his weight on Roy’s thigh so he could look the man in the eye.

“Look, I... I think you’re making a grave mistake,” Ed said with a slight shake of his head. “My brother warned me that I could be making a mistake in the accident that made me lose my arm and my leg. But in my self-assuredness, I ignored him, and people got hurt. The moral of the story here is that… well, I find you to be… rather amicable. And I find you rather attractive, but you’re making a _goddamn stupid_ _mistake_ , Mustang.”

“And you’re helping me make it, Elric.”

“I think it’s the sort of thing like... where someone decides they want the pain to end then and there. And... some stranger on the corner gives them what they need to do so, knowing very well what they’re about to overdose because they can see it on their face. Are they helping them do this horrible thing? Or are they just doing their job and hoping that they’ll at least be put out their misery?”

“Our conversation is taking a dark turn…”

Edward silently scoffed at the statement as he rested one elbow atop the nearby table’s edge. Looking at the fireplace across the room, he balanced his chin in the palm of his hand, his hair catching the fiery orange light.

“Don’t start arguing with me about it, because I don’t have the energy, and I’m not one to look into matters of ethics,” he said, absentmindedly tilting his head to the side. “Either way, I’m not going to be the one shoving this crap down your throat tomorrow morning.”

“How about something else?” Roy joked, quickly kissing Ed’s cheek and drawing back with a smirk dancing upon his lips.

“That was stupid, and no one’s laughing...” Ed muttered, eyes flicking back to Roy. However, his words had no bite to them,

Eyes searched India ink blue, deep and dark, calm like the stillness of Roy’s body itself as Ed turned slightly on the military man’s thigh, a warm flesh palm joining a cool metal one at Roy’s flushed cheeks. The stillness continued as the blond languidly dipped his head forward, the sound of oxygen exchanged between lungs and air lost, buried beneath the sound of raindrops patting lightly upon the roof above. 

Eyes closed as lips locked, soft and warm, a hum of content also lost as Ed tangled his fingers into Roy’s glossy raven hair. Mouths moved in sweet, blissful synchronization, Roy’s hands caressing Ed’s hips and steadying him as the kiss deepened.

And then it was over.

It was over- something saccharine and sincere was brought to an undesirable end, even though the wanting was still there. It’s like when you say goodnight and part ways, but the ache in your heart, and that tug as the invisible string that links the two of you together stretches and becomes uncomfortably taut, only confirm that what you really want to do is call out.

And beg them to stay the night.

And the morning.

And whatever comes after.

Edward sat up straight so that he was looking down at Roy, cupping his cheeks again and lifting his face higher so that their foreheads rested against each other, heated against heated skin.

“Don’t forget,” Ed whispered down to his lover.

“I’ve made my choice...” Roy admitted softly, “...I will forget.”

After silence, Edward shook his head slightly and clarified the statement.

“I carry a watch in my pocket. It was given to me by my estranged father, and carved into the metal are those words. ‘Don’t forget’. I don’t know about you, or about the innocent people that you’ve slaughtered, Mustang. But even if my memories are painful, I want to carry them with me all my life. Because they’ve made me who I am. And I hope that… in time… In time, maybe... I’ll become strong. They won’t hurt me anymore, and I’ll be glad to have them.  _ All of them _ . I’m waiting for that day...”

Ed paused and placed a hand at the back of Roy’s head as he nuzzled his pointed nose into the man’s raven hair.

“...I think it’s coming,” he breathed.

He couldn’t see Roy’s face, but he could feel something change in the man after having said those words.

“What is it?” Ed questioned curiously, drawing away slightly.

“You’re a good speaker. A good man, a good brother, a good business owner... Is there anything you’re mediocre at?”

Roy quickly placed a kiss upon the tip of Ed’s nose.

But as soon as he drew back, Ed’s lips crashed into his own, the action somehow causing him to forget everything that came before. The desire behind those lips, the passion, the hunger of that kiss all caught Roy off guard, the earth stuttering on its axis and lifting him from his seat so that he could return it.

As calloused hands reached up and cupped Ed’s cheeks, Roy found himself stripped of his own reality. In that split second, it was replaced by another- the belief that maybe, just maybe, this was what he had been searching for.

The place in which to drown himself.

Ed stepped back, almost losing his balance as the backs of his knees collided with the edge of the bed, but slipping his hands over Roy’s broad shoulders, he was able to catch himself. Fingers trembling with anticipation knitted themselves through raven hair as Roy hurriedly unbuttoned Ed’s shirt, slipping the fabric over shoulders.

Roy froze.

In that moment, a sense of dread washed over Edward, settling in the form of a sickness at the pit of his stomach. He stood still as a statue as Roy hesitantly lifted a hand, onyx eyes flicking upward, looking for a ‘go ahead’ before he gently touched the place where automail was married with lightly tanned skin. Spidery pink scars branched out from the spot, raised, but smooth like burn scars- hot candle wax dripped on the skin and left out to dry.

It was only when a thumb was run over the hill of a bolt near the place where metal and flesh met that Ed finally found his voice.

“I’ve been like this for so long that I forget sometimes,” he whispered. “I know it’s ugly, and if you want, we can st-”

Ed stopped right there in the middle of a word, eyes widening and then looking upward to search for distinguishable shapes within the cracks of the ceiling as Roy ducked his head down, hair brushing against skin as he began to leaves a trail of kisses at the scarred skin of his shoulder, searing lips rising to neck, trailing, lingering, and then vanishing, lips locking once more. They hadn’t known each other for very long at all, but they were already addicted to the taste of each other. Their touch. Their heat. 

Delight. 

Roy playfully put a hand on Ed’s chest and pushed him back, sending Ed toppling down onto the bed, his body bouncing atop the mattress. The blonde’s bright smile and contagious laughter nearly got to Roy as he tugged his own shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor beside him.

Edward’s chuckling subsided, and his pink lips parted slightly, a breath caught within the throat as Roy positioned himself on top of him on all fours, the toned muscles of his tanned arms and shoulders rippling slightly as he shifted his weight, one knee pressing firmly into the space between Ed’s heated thighs.

It was in that moment, with Ed beneath Roy, that time stopped, motion becoming static, the energy of what came before echoing on, fading, but living on in memory. The pat of rain against the nearby window just barely rose above the sound of heavy breaths intertwining, meshing into a single symphony.

With countenance calm, Roy smiled a small, sad smile, gingerly tucking a lock of loose hair behind Edward's ear.

“You’re trembling,” Roy observed, speaking in a hushed, almost sing-song voice. “Do I make you tremble?”

“I don’t do this often...” Ed whispered with a slight shake of his head. “Sleep with strangers...”

“But you’ve done it before, then!” Roy joked.

Ed let out a soft chuckle and tried to hold back a smile. He shifted slightly against the bed covers and let Roy absentmindedly stroke the wispy hairs at his right temple. The question that followed afterward wasn’t pressing or demanding. Simply curious.

“What do you want, Edward Elric? What are you looking for?”

As Edward spoke, a smile danced upon his lips, but the look in his eyes conveyed the truth, as they always do. It was in that moment that Roy realized that perhaps, Edward was carrying the same weight that he was. 

“I don’t know,” Ed breathed. “I don’t want to gain anything- I want to lose something. I don’t wanna gain anything…” he repeating, trailing off. 

_ “Now what can I get for you... Hero of Ishval?” Edward had questioned. _

_ Roy’s body visibly stiffened upon hearing his own name. But he quickly shoved his discomfort down and answered in a calm, even voice. _

_ “I don’t want to ‘get’ anything. I want to lose something.” _

_ “Care to explain?”  _

**_I want to love you, because I cannot love myself._ **

**_I want to lose myself in you, rather than in the clutter of my reality._ **

Ed took him. 

Ed took all of him. 

Ed rode him out.

And it was all a fucked up disappointment.

They took a shower without saying a single word to each other, without even looking at each other’s face out of fear of someone saying something, even though they had no idea what that something could possibly be. It’s like when you feel like screaming, or crying, or shouting, or punching a wall, or just setting shit on fire, but you can’t think about whatever it is you’re upset about, or else it’ll just come spewing up like vomit out of your throat, acid corroding whatever it touches- oh yes, Roy and Ed went back to bed.

And they did it all over again. 

It was without a doubt the worst sex they had ever had. Because for some odd reason... it really mattered.


	2. Day

Roy winced, blinking away sleep in the late morning light which stung his eyes and cloaked his world in a brilliant white. He smelled Ed on the bed sheets, but the voice that wished him good morning came from the other side of the room. Gossamer curtains caressed his bare shoulders as the earth spun on, and the sound of passing cars intermingled with a chorus of songbirds.

“The sun came out,” Roy whispered hoarsely.

“In my experience, it always does,” Ed sang softly back to him. “Like clockwork…”

The blonde then picked a pen off of his work table against the far wall. Walking back to Roy, he skimmed through the pages of a small leather-bound journal, ignoring Roy whose gaze was transfixed on the street below.

“Okay, so you should lose two to two and half months: life events and the people that you met in that time,” Ed explained. “I have a list of your contacts with me, and the note that you wrote to yourself and your friends, and I’ll give both of those things to you when you’re ready. First I’m going to give you a sedative that will be injected into your arm and will make your spine and neck a bit numb. Not too painful though. Then we’ll move on, you’ll give me the go ahead, and you’ll take the potion that I made. Afterward, you’ll have to-”

“Thank you,” Roy interrupted, causing Ed to stop in his tracks. “Thank you,” he repeated.

Roy turned and watched, as without a word, Ed sat himself upon the edge of the bed. He had to admit that the frown on the blond’s face saddened him. Because it made him question if the person he had spent the night with was the same person who was sitting before him now, pulling a thin strip of cloth from one of his pant pockets.

“Give me your arm,” Ed ordered, not meeting Roy’s eyes.

The military man surrendered his arm without hesitation and looked on curiously as Ed tied the cloth around his upper arm. It was only after the knot was tied that their eyes finally met. And Roy finally recognized him.

“Come back to me someday. Alright?” Ed said, putting a hand on top of Roy’s. “And we can get to know each other better. I… I wanna see you again. Someday.”

“You’ll have to remind me,” Roy countered with a playful smirk.

“Can do. Now lay down for me, would ya?”

Roy pulled the bed sheets farther up over his legs before slowly laying back against the pillows. To his surprise, Edward slipped a hand behind his head, easing him down with almost tender care.

Warning him about the oncoming pinch, Ed used a syringe to inject a fluid into the crook of Roy’s arm. As promised, a slight tingling sensation arose at the back of Roy’s neck, slowly traveling down the length of his back, tickling his skin like goosebumps. And then a heaviness as Ed went back to the work table to retrieve a glass half filled with a clear liquid. Setting the glass on the side table, Ed sat next to Roy once more.

With countenance calm, and thoughts unreadable, the blonde hesitantly reached an automail hand out and smoothed back Roy’s slightly disheveled hair. Languidly, he set his hand back down upon the bed sheets and then swallowed thickly before speaking.

“I’m not going to ask twice, Mustang. Are you sure about this?”

With a reassuring smile, Roy moved one hand slightly, allowing his fingertips to just barely touch Edward’s. “I’m sure,” he said softly. Examining the blonde’s face, his gaze softened. “You’re a grown man, Elric... don’t cry.”

“I don’t cry,” Ed argued with a roll of his glassy eyes. “Especially not for a bastard like you...” he said, reaching for the nearby glass.

Once again, he carefully slid a hand beneath Roy’s head, gently lifting it. Eyes remained locked as Edward put the glass to Roy’s lips and tipped it back, the crystal catching the sunlight as Roy slowly drank.

Edward reached over and set the glass down, and looking back at Roy, he saw that obsidian eyes were unfocused and dim- a light had been snuffed out. Eyelids were already heavy with the beckoning of sleep.

“ _Shhh_ …” Ed hushed, rubbing the cool skin at Roy’s forearm. Soothing him. “Just rest. You’re tired. It’s normal- it happens sometimes.”

Finding the look in Roy’s eyes almost unnerving, Ed turned away and tiredly balanced his elbows upon his knees. Closing his eyes, he buried his head into his hands before shaking it off- carding his automail fingers through his hair and sitting upright once more. Pushing back the lump he held in his throat, and letting out a ragged sigh, he turned his head and looked back at the man was laying beside him.

Roy was awake, but his eyes were swimming with silent confusion, examining the ceiling as someone examines the clouds in sky, trying to figure out what the weather will be a week from tomorrow.

“Roy?” Ed called softly.

When the man didn’t move a muscle, Ed called his name again. Dark eyes flicked over, still filled to the brim with that same silent confusion. Usually, people who received this sort of treatment made more of a fuss about not remembering where they were.

But unlike the other two who came before in years past, Roy was oddly calm.

“My name is Edward Elric,” Ed recited in a clear voice. “There’s no reason to be frightened- you were feeling tired and I gave you a place to rest for a while. May I ask what your name is?”

Narrowing his eyes, Roy let out a soft breath and scanned the room with his eyes.

So… _lost_.

“My name is Roy,” Roy responded in a slightly slurred voice. “Where… where am I? What’s going on?”

“What’s your last name, Roy?”

Roy’s body visibly tensed upon hearing those words. His mouth opened. His mouth closed. He went back to staring at the eggshell-colored ceiling, sending a sense of unease washing over Edward.

“I can’t lift my head...” Roy finally muttered to himself. “My neck hurts.”

“It’s okay; it’s alright,” Ed said almost dismissively. “I don’t mean you any harm. I just need you answer some questions for me to see what you remember. So… what’s your last name, Roy?”

A second passed. Another second passed. And another. Lighthearted laughter was heard from the street below. Nausea washed over Ed in a sickening heat.

“Where are you from? Where do you live?” Edward pried, panic bubbling up and becoming evident in his voice.

He was looking for something. _Anything._ Because he couldn’t have _fucked everything up_ all over again. It couldn’t have been _his fault_ all over again.  

“Ever had any family or friends, Roy? When’s your birthday?”

“I can’t lift my head,” Roy whispered shakily. “I’m scared- I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what-”

“ _For fuck’s sake!_ Forget about that and tell me your goddamn last name, Roy!” a red-faced Edward shouted, quickly rising from his seat at the edge of the bed. Tears blurred his vision and swirling emotion caused his world to spin. “I know you know it!” he choked, “I know you do!”

“I d-d-don’t… I don’t... remember anything,” Roy stuttered hoarsely. “I don’t remember anything at all...”

**_Demons fought for the continued ignorance of mankind._ **

**_And so alchemy became the way in which man could learn how to manipulate the world around him, pushing back the shadow of ignorance and becoming liberated from evil itself._ **

**_This was the belief of the alchemist Zosimos of Panopolis._ **

A young child grinned from ear to ear as, holding his mother’s hand, a single plastic sunflower yellow rain boot splashed into a glistening puddle standing lonely upon the drying sidewalk, the small but resilient pool a ghost of what once was, hours away from doing just that.

Becoming what had passed. And is now fading.

Roy Mustang was doing his usual. Or at least, what had become his usual after having been told by Gracia what exactly his usual was.

Every morning, he left Gracia’s apartment and bought a coffee from the cafe on the corner. He walked to the park and sat on a bench by the pond until about eleven o’clock. He walked back to the apartment. He helped out with chores. Gracia acted as his teacher, and she taught him things that he ought to have remembered, but now did not.

Usual.

The opposite of zany, quirky, whimsical, and the idiosyncratic.

He had been haunting Roy’s dreams for the past couple of days- that first face that Roy saw. And so, while he was on his way back from the park, walking down Nelson Avenue and the strip of odd shops that lined it, he didn’t quite believe his eyes.

Roy initially walked past the young man with his clip-on earrings and crimson cloak, but then he stopped, considered, and then ran after the figure who had continued to make his way down the street.

“Hey!” Roy called sharply, jogging up from behind Ed.

The blonde stopped and turned, but otherwise, not a single word slipped from his mouth as Roy smiled warmly and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you’re that guy- that guy who brought me to my friend’s girlfriend’s house? Gracia? I wrote myself a note saying that I should speak to you,” Roy said quickly, extending out a hand. “I’m Roy Mustang.”

In that moment, a breeze took a turn about an apartment building, raced down the city street, and crashed into the cast iron sign which hung above Zosimos Alchemy and Magic Emporium, drawing a groan out of it as it swayed back and forth. Making a round-about, the breeze whistled back toward the couple, sending liquid gold locks whipping about in the air, a hush settling upon the earth as a fist held a crimson cloak closed.

And eyes blinked, void of recognition.

“I… I’m sorry,” Ed said with an apologetic smile. “I don’t believe we’ve met before; you must be mistaking me for someone else. Now, if you would excuse me, I have some errands to run.”

The corners of his lips turned upward once again into small smile of sympathy. And with that, he turned and continued to make his way down the street, leaving with Roy a curious ache settling within his chest as he turned and continued to walk as well. A tugging sensation as the invisible string that linked the two of them together stretched and become uncomfortably taut. And it only confirmed that for some odd reason, what he really wanted to do was call out. And beg this stranger to stay the day.

And the night.

And whatever came after.

**_You know that thing where people have past lives, and they forget about them? And then they meet up again, and all of a sudden, all of the memories of this impossible past come flooding back?_ **

**_I think that’s complete and utter bullshit._ **

**_But for now…_ **

**_For now, in this life... I am young._ **

Roy paused, lips parting, mouth falling slightly open as eyes widened with realization.

**_And because I am young, like a fire, my hope for our future shines brightly. And it pounds in my ears like a heartbeat. The desire for it eats away at me, and it causes me to crash to my knees, but I get up again, oh yes, I get up again, because I am me._ **

**_And that, I shall always be._ **

**_In time, maybe I’ll become strong as well. The weight that I carry, as heavy as the sky on Atlas’ shoulders, may feel like nothing more than a persistent rain at my back, pounding against my sturdy spine only to drip off and feed a wonderful spring. Because I am young, I am waiting for the day the sun will shine…_ **

Putting a hand to his forehead, Edward Elric turned, and a brilliant smile spread across his face as he finally spoke.

 

 

“...I think it’s coming.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think that this was one of my best works? So if you would tell me what you thought about it, it would be a big help! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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